[I wrote this last night after a good bit of champagne. I looked it over this morning and thought about editing it, but then I figured.... no.]
This morning (Monday), we arrived at the AH early (okay, by that I mean 10am, so I shouldn't complain) for the purpose of watching an apparently much beloved Russian film called Irony of Fate (a romantic comedy set in Russia on New Year's Eve). We didn't finish it; it's three hours long, and we left the third hour for Tuesday. So far I'm not sure how I feel about the flick, as a lot of the humor is drunken-humor, and there seem to be some characters who are definitely getting the short end of the love stick here. (Oh yes, the ironies of fate, how well I know them.) But we shall see how it ends. At this point I totally recommend that everyone watch at least the first five minutes of this film. It's an animated introduction (without words) that should be utterly hilarious in any language.
After two hours of Irony of Fate, I maneuvered over to the nearest computer and spent most of the afternoon working on my grades. Yawn. I'm pleased to report that three of my five classes did remarkably well. Of course my "hooligans" (my disinterested teens) obviously did not study. I gave them a *very* detailed study guide, which - if they had studied it - would have netted them all very high grades. As it is, half the class has to re-take the thing. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him study English. After learning that M's third level hooliganis did just as poorly as mine, I felt a little better, although I am still very disappointed in my class. Of course, as 80% of my students passed with flying colors, I shouldn't feel too discouraged... should I?
Anyhow, grades take up a long time, and I simply didn't have time to eat lunch. (Lunch is an inconvenient meal, and I've hated it ever since elementary school and those utterly unpalatable institutional "lunches" which nauseated me every day as soon as I entered the cafeteria, and which I never, ever ate. There's a reason I never grew. I got into the habit of doing without, and now, even when I can and frequently eat whatever I feel like, I'm often too busy to bother with it. Damn my body for wanting to eat when it's inconvenient.) So, I didn't eat lunch, and as a result, I arrived at VEMZ for their last class of the semester having eaten nothing but four cookies since breakfast.
My VEMZ students (whom I love, even if their constant and flagrant cheating annoys me to no end) definitely came prepared for the last day of class: Four bottles of champagne, three boxes of chocolate, a dozen oranges, plus a "New Year's gift" (Russian New Year's is analogous to the American secular side of Christmas) of a piggy bank that's a dog (doggy bank?) as 2006 is the Year of the Dog, another box of chocolate, and another bottle of champagne (the last two I was instructed to take to the US for consumption on New Year's Eve. Let me tell you: a Certain Someone is totally missing out on New Year's. Meanwhile, my American friends and family totally win. M, this group specifically told me I had to drink the champagne with you! I had used you as an example in one of my lessons, and they remembered!) Anyway, let's just say that splitting four bottles of champagne amongst eight people (when one of them is a quick drunk running on an empty stomach) makes for an interesting evening. We talked about all sorts of things (in high quality Ruslish), from holiday customs to politics. I'm pleased to note that if my VEMZ class were Americans they would've voted for Kerry. They also think that Bill Clinton is a "genuine man" (I didn't ask what they meant, but from the tone of voice and the Russian willingness to talk about Monica Lewinsky, I'm assuming that it had something to do with his sex drive), and they agree that it's absurd that Putin can ride a horse and Bush can't. I also may have sung an solo version of Hotel California (upon request, really), and I taught them to sing Jingle Bells, although halfway through I realized that one woman was singing, "Uncle Ben's, Uncle Ben's" instead of Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells. (Apparently the great rice-maker markets some sort of delicious sauce over here, and at some point had a commercial to the tune of Jingle Bells, so it turns out the situation wasn't as utterly insane as I first thought.)
So now I have to figure out how to get an absurd amount of chocolate and an unopened/unbroken bottle of Russian champagne home for the holidays. Woohoohoo.
After two hours of Irony of Fate, I maneuvered over to the nearest computer and spent most of the afternoon working on my grades. Yawn. I'm pleased to report that three of my five classes did remarkably well. Of course my "hooligans" (my disinterested teens) obviously did not study. I gave them a *very* detailed study guide, which - if they had studied it - would have netted them all very high grades. As it is, half the class has to re-take the thing. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him study English. After learning that M's third level hooliganis did just as poorly as mine, I felt a little better, although I am still very disappointed in my class. Of course, as 80% of my students passed with flying colors, I shouldn't feel too discouraged... should I?
Anyhow, grades take up a long time, and I simply didn't have time to eat lunch. (Lunch is an inconvenient meal, and I've hated it ever since elementary school and those utterly unpalatable institutional "lunches" which nauseated me every day as soon as I entered the cafeteria, and which I never, ever ate. There's a reason I never grew. I got into the habit of doing without, and now, even when I can and frequently eat whatever I feel like, I'm often too busy to bother with it. Damn my body for wanting to eat when it's inconvenient.) So, I didn't eat lunch, and as a result, I arrived at VEMZ for their last class of the semester having eaten nothing but four cookies since breakfast.
My VEMZ students (whom I love, even if their constant and flagrant cheating annoys me to no end) definitely came prepared for the last day of class: Four bottles of champagne, three boxes of chocolate, a dozen oranges, plus a "New Year's gift" (Russian New Year's is analogous to the American secular side of Christmas) of a piggy bank that's a dog (doggy bank?) as 2006 is the Year of the Dog, another box of chocolate, and another bottle of champagne (the last two I was instructed to take to the US for consumption on New Year's Eve. Let me tell you: a Certain Someone is totally missing out on New Year's. Meanwhile, my American friends and family totally win. M, this group specifically told me I had to drink the champagne with you! I had used you as an example in one of my lessons, and they remembered!) Anyway, let's just say that splitting four bottles of champagne amongst eight people (when one of them is a quick drunk running on an empty stomach) makes for an interesting evening. We talked about all sorts of things (in high quality Ruslish), from holiday customs to politics. I'm pleased to note that if my VEMZ class were Americans they would've voted for Kerry. They also think that Bill Clinton is a "genuine man" (I didn't ask what they meant, but from the tone of voice and the Russian willingness to talk about Monica Lewinsky, I'm assuming that it had something to do with his sex drive), and they agree that it's absurd that Putin can ride a horse and Bush can't. I also may have sung an solo version of Hotel California (upon request, really), and I taught them to sing Jingle Bells, although halfway through I realized that one woman was singing, "Uncle Ben's, Uncle Ben's" instead of Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells. (Apparently the great rice-maker markets some sort of delicious sauce over here, and at some point had a commercial to the tune of Jingle Bells, so it turns out the situation wasn't as utterly insane as I first thought.)
So now I have to figure out how to get an absurd amount of chocolate and an unopened/unbroken bottle of Russian champagne home for the holidays. Woohoohoo.
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